Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
