I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
