Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
