I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
