I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it's like iHOP with fire
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
