If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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