I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize