The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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