Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
