You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
