I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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