i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Panties = found
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