I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize