After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize