Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
