He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
