I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
