k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
