Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
