last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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