So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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