Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
