Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
