better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
