im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
