Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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