I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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