I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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