i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
