It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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