you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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