I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
