im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
