she was so not down for the gang bang
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
