Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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