I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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