All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
