So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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