i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
