I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize