So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
