i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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