Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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