the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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