dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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