I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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