is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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