I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
