I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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