The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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