So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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