I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
