Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
