I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
