I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
