How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
