pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize